Thirty Days for the Soul

A week after my wife and I got back from our annual month-long car camping trip I was still digging through a box to find underwear in the morning and through my shaving kit to find my toothbrush. I was home but not settled. Hadn't even unpacked my clothes. Somehow I felt that I was still merely occupying another campsite. The entire summer has been one long drift. The trip was a thirty day tumble through Alice's rabbit hole and it had taken me a week of home surroundings just to process some of the events. In it all I've sensed that the Lord was simply continuing the character and faith lessons He'd been administering over the last couple of years. At the end of the school year God was clearly not finished with me. He appears to have tacked on at least another Thirty Days in the Hole, or rather "for the Soul" and I'm still marveling at the intensity and diversity of His training program.

Having just extricated myself from business in Colorado, a smarter man wouldn't have taken on a new project the day after he pulled into the driveway. But I did just that. It was on the list. There was one more person standing in line to be served, and I won't be free to leave until no one gives a damn whether I'm around or not.

It seems all summer I've been working to cross off projects and obligations as if they were locks on the door to my personal freedom and peace of mind.  Perhaps it'll all be done by this coming weekend when I finish remodeling the master bedroom for my wife, conclude the process of refinancing our property in Fort Collins and settle in to my new job. Then I will have finished and can pack my bike and head back out for some solo riding time. It was just yesterday that I came to the realization that this is what I've been working toward for the past seven weeks: the freeing sense that I've taken care of all claims on my time and I can ride around for a while without the guilt of unfinished projects. adding wind resistance to the adventure. A few days of riding around in the mountains knowing that I'm not putting anyone else out has been the driving force the entire time.

The nights under the stars are only peaceful when I'm truly free to enjoy them.